I cried last night. I cried because I felt the pain that my friend had. The feeling might not be exactly the same as she felt, but trust me, I could relate to it.
Have you ever felt lonely? confused about your life, not knowing what to do or where to go? I am sure you have, don’t worry, so have I. Even now, from time to time, I still feel these unpredictable feelings.
Last night, a small group of friends and I could not help but panic over a friend’s worrying profile picture. The photo oozing messages as if she clearly screams, “I need help, please help me.” We were scared that she might hurt herself, so we asked other friends who lived close to her to spend the night with her. She is safe and needs time to heal.
I encourage you to share your feelings to your friends, your family, or anyone you can think of. It is ok to feel lonely and sad. It is alright to feel confused or scared. I am telling you, it is totally fine. You are not alone. Many people, including myself have experienced such terrifying feelings.
However, it is not ok if you don’t do anything with them. You must respond to those feelings. You can’t and will never be able to escape from the monsters in your head without seeking help. I beg you, talk to someone, reach out to professionals, they will and can help.
Now, for those who know people who are suffering from loneliness or depression, please look out for them. Tell them that you have their back, they can count on you, and they can talk to you about everything. All you have to do is to listen to them. Don’t judge them. Don’t give them advice but guide them towards optimistic thinking. Remind them that they are loved, they are important, and they mean so much to you. Let them know how blessed you are to have them in your life. It is very important to do all of the above. A compliment or a smile can change a person’s world.
Let me tell you something, when I was a little girl I got home from school to see my mother ready to end her own life. I became determined to love myself, to take care of the people I love, and to cherish when I was around 8.
It was a quiet evening when I witnessed my mother quietly weeping in a corner of our -make-shift kitchen. Her eyes were swollen and red. I shifted my eyes and saw bruises covering her arms. My eyes followed the bruises, carefully scrutinizing each and every detail. I was exasperated. Then, I noticed a bottle of Endrin, a poisonous medicine that we used to kill mice in her hand. I asked what she was doing, and she told me, looking at me dead straight in the eyes that she didn’t want to live anymore, she didn’t want to live with my father anymore. I broke into tears, I ran to hug, and begged my beloved mother to live, to breath, and to feel my pain… I begged her. She ended up choosing life over death. She placed the Endrin bottle on the floor and embraced me. We cried for a long time. I was young and immature, but I understood the pain that my mother felt.
I’ve decided to be nice to myself and to the people around me, but only those who cared about me. I tell my family and friends that they are important to me and they mean so much to me. I share my feelings with them. I seek help when I need it. I offer help to people and I remind them that they are loved, and they are beautiful. But most importantly, I tell myself that I am strong, smart, important, beautiful, and I have a future.
To those who read my post, please love yourself and look after your loved ones.